1 Year Ago | Unveiling the Mirror: A Story of Seeing and Being Seen

A personal reflection about a moment of total transformation & manifestation

One of the most treasured personal practices I host today is documenting when powerful (or impactful, incredible, unbelievable, moving, or memorable) moments happen along my life journey. The beautiful bursts of synchronicity that remind me of how connected I am.

I have a special Google Calendar (entitled “Gorgeous Memories✨”) where I house such reminders. I simply add “an appointment” to document the moment and follow it up with the year in parentheses (as a sample: “Bailey came into our life! (2022)”).

Then, the magic is in the repeat. I set it to recur every year, almost like a birthday! So that I’m reminded next year, and every year following, of this magical day’s past moment.

I’ve kept this practice since 2015, so I’ve got a solid 10 years of memories currently collected.

And I’ll continue to add to it, even if it’s not at the moment. Like when I come across something in a past journal, or a memory pops up from a conversation, I’ll simply add it on the next recurring date (I don’t backdate) and that way it’s captured moving forward.

Shameless plug? I’d highly recommend it! It’s genuinely one of my most treasured “possessions”.

So for today, I’d like to share with you a special memory that popped up from just last year…

A Year Ago Today

My Moment of Total Transformation & Manifestation

My 2024 was a monumental year.

It was the year when I connected deeply with myself, as well as my relationship and connection with God. I started the year (February 7th, 2024 to be exact) deciding to wake up at 4:45 am the next day (February 8th). Then, a couple of weeks later, I moved it back an hour (then to 3:45 am) to dedicate the early hours to myself, my spiritual health, and my emotional connection.

This will forever remain one of the most powerful decisions I’ve ever made across my life journey.

The time to wake up was selected due to my rigorous Executive Search Director role in Corporate Talent Acquisition (you can learn more on my other Substack, Career Clarity, where I share my wisdom and learnings from my 20+ years and 55,000+ hours of interviewing expertise). I had to get up earlier than when I started, to give myself ample time to be with me, so this resulted in the 4 am-5 am wakeup time.

At the same time, I had just “survived” another layoff impact on my team and function, which is awfully bittersweet.

I should be happy, being that I was “still there”! However, seeing the changes that result is never easy. To see those who go, then those who thought they were going, is a ball of emotions that is not easy to begin to untangle. Then what remains is the often frenzied emotions of those who survived, who are scrambling to understand how they will continue the workload and the operations forward from it. It’s often a lot.

I was in an Executive Search role (aka I hired Executive-level candidates, which included Senior Director, VP, and beyond), and through it, I worked with many external vendors and partners.

For the sake of this public article, let’s call my contact Maryanne.

Maryanne and I had been working together for months. She was a vendor who was leading a critical search for the business, and I remember from my first interaction with her. I was incredibly impressed.

Not only for her technical skills and expertise (her polish and yet professionalism to constructively push back by lifting up still has me in awe!) but more so for her human ability to be authentic to who she was.

She was genuine and could clearly and accurately read people so swiftly.

She, like me, had been in practice for a long while, working for some of the largest Tech companies in the world.

I hadn’t had the opportunity to really “talk” with her; it was more through the regular motions of the search, working with Hiring Leaders, and executing some newly rolled out programming I was helping to architect for my function.

I received a sudden call from her shortly following the layoffs news made its way “around” to her desk. But even in our brief connection at that moment, I could feel how concerned she was for my well-being.

And I’ll say transparently that within any Talent Acquisition role and function, you are always on high alert about who knows what, and what they’re trying to do with that information (hello HR and hello PR!).

But at my core, I could feel something was different. She said she just wanted to check in with me and chat.

I wanted to take a few days to process all that was happening in my world, but we penciled in a time.

This was the conversation that landed a year ago now.

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Maryanne gave me a ring, and we made small talk at first.

Then, at that perfect transition moment, she dove straight into the deep end, sharing with me that she felt compassion and concern for me, as I had been through a lot. She was right, I really had.

But the entire conversation then shifted, and the absolute synchronicity and serendipity of what I had already been experiencing in the quiet connection times with my God and my Spirit Guides, and my Higher Self (collectively I often refer to as the Universe) started to come through her voice.

It was like I was hearing her, but the words were so dialed in I thought she had to have been hiding in the walls next to my recliner that I’d cozy up in during my morning practices!

She asked me candidly, “Lavender, what is holding you back?”

I paused.

She continued, “What is stopping you?" And even more broadly, what gives you oxygen?"

My heart raced.

She continued, “Lavender, are you giving the world everything you’ve got?”

I was stunned. I had never been this “seen”. I didn’t know how to answer, but I knew exactly what she was referring to.

It was about me making this deeper change that was already on my heart. I had been holding onto my Corporate career for way too long at that point (and I knew it at a soul level).

But what was holding me back from pursuing my dreams?

She continued, sharing a powerful quote from Mark Twain:

“The two most important days in your life are the day you were born, and the day you find out why.”

At this exact moment, tears began to pour down my face.

Maryanne continued, almost conducting a “candidate pitch” on me…about me.

In the industry, as Executive Recruiters, we often have to very quickly and accurately assess a candidate and deliver a short, pithy, and punchy pitch to a Hiring Leader or a Client.
It’s about aligning all intrinsically, and helping them fall in love as swiftly as possible. Because when you do matchmake two humans (or more) together, this is when magic happens. It’s the most exhilarating part of the job!

She continued on, describing who I was, in her eyes:

“What makes you so memorable, Lavender, is that you always continue to wear your heart on your sleeve. Your willingness to be who you are, authentically. Your depth of vulnerability is one of the most beautiful parts about you. And I hope that it never changes, because it makes you memorable.

“In making decisions in life (now that I’m well into my mid-life), I’ve learned that they must be aligned. You aren’t just saying yes to say yes. Decisions are either a ‘hell yes’, or it’s a flat out NO! There is no in between.

“Now I’m not saying you have to run and quit your job now, or make all the decisions tomorrow. But I am inquiring as to what is holding you back.”

I then told her how humbled I was at what she shared with me.

She immediately followed with “it’s really just coming through me.”

I sat there in that micromoment, which felt like an eternity, absolutely floored. Humbled beyond any words I could express (and trust me, my friends, I’m a talker, and I can talk!).

Everything I had been nurturing and “feeding” in those early morning hours came to this. Came to this very, exact moment.

But what came next was almost a full-circle moment.

Maryanne went on to leverage some very powerful, industry-respected tools to start to assess who I was as a professional. She connected how I showed up to the depth of my brilliance in what I was doing. These same tools in my past had been used to hurt me (by a past boss, of which I plan to expand on soon - so be sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss the stories - they are incredible!).

As you may have experienced in your own life journey, any one tool or assessment or guide can be used as a source of wealth, or as a weapon. It can be used in moments of praise or moments of the exertion of power. In my case, it was the latter, and my boss was using it to attempt to make me small. Given this experience, I humbly stayed away from these tools, knowing deep down how valuable and multi-faceted they were, but how they were used in a way I cannot even imagine doing to another human. Not for their betterment, but for their control.

But here it arose again. The synchronicity that one of the facets or criteria Maryanne was delivering to me in absolute awe and praise was the exact facet my past boss used to cause pain.

Hearing her carry through her detailed analysis of who I was as a professional, but more importantly, as a human, and all the capacity and love and capability I had to give to the world was unreal. It felt unreal, anyway.

And to hear how rare someone is to encompass this interwoven tapestry of traits as I did was genuinely shocking. It had me shook. How could this same thing be returning to me as the opposite? I had always believed this of myself, but I learned to believe that possibly others couldn’t see it.

She then paused, muting my flurry of mental chatter.

She said, “Most importantly, Lavender, ask yourself, what doors are you closing?”

This is what I had learned to be one of the most beautiful laws of the Universe: the vacuum. Sometimes to jumpstart or kickstart, we must release, we must cleanse, we must let go. We must create the space for something to arrive by first removing, deleting, or clearing something.

We must first take action.

I then began to pour out my heart, sharing with Maryanne where I was and where my heart was at. The dreams and aspirations I had been contemplating, and what my inner voice was consistently communicating with me.

I couldn’t hide anymore. I had been seen.

That meant that it was time to step into my power, and into my light.

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From that point forward, I was able to connect with Maryanne on more of a human level, as she had “seen” the full me.

I made her promises, of which I kept them. I took the action, I believed in myself, and not more than 5 months later I left my Corporate job (and more on that soon, as it was mentally planned, but the way it unfolded it really tumbled out).

Speaking to her was oddly and eerily familiar.

What’s still magical to me is that, in that exact moment, it was almost like I was talking to myself; I was coaching myself through the most significant turning point of my life. Maryanne and I had similar mindsets, similar abilities to read people deeply, led in similar practice capacities, and encompassed a similar professional depth of experience. This made it even easier to see those lines already blurred.

It was as if I were looking at her as if I were looking at myself.

This is the mirror that helped me see and remember who I was.

I also equally knew that had I not (on February 8th, 2024) started the practice to invest time in getting to know me, and connecting deeply to who I was, this moment may not have come at all (or if it had, not at the same gravity or impact).

Getting to know me and investing in me allowed me to experience one of the most impactful moments of my life.

Hopping Back to Today

That moment truly changed the course of where I stand today.

Why did I want to share it here, and with you?

Because I want you to know how powerful you truly are.

You believing in you can change your whole world, and the world of all those you come into contact with.

The power of what you invite or call into your life can come to fruition faster, and with more connection and more synchronicity, than you ever could imagine.

If I had seen that conversation at the surface level, as one professional talking to another, talking through a common challenge (in this case, layoffs) of which I know professionally all too well, I wouldn’t have thought much into it. I would have thought Maryanne was an incredibly kind human, paying forward compliments, and maybe even trying to get me to work with her and her team! 😉

Yet the reality shows me that when we are connected first with ourselves (for me, in those quiet early AMs for that past month or so), I likely would not have “heard” or felt her message like I did that day.

It is so important for you to love yourself.

To spend time with your heart, to listen to your inner whispers. Only when we quiet our minds are we able to really tune in and tap in.

That moment would not have been as impactful if I hadn’t first filled my cup.

I also believe that Maryanne, in what she had shared with me (the messages just “coming through her”), could not have flowed as deeply had she not followed her own practices of self-love and dedication and connecting herself to the Universe. She shared with me later how she had started that practice years prior, and it had led her to such wonderful places and realizations of her own.

This would also mean that she could not have shared or transcribed those messages that I needed to hear on that day, in that moment.

You, my sweet reader, have it all. It’s all within you.

You don’t really have to do anything. All you need is the desire to connect. Then, take the initiative, or the action, to allow for the space for it all to unfold.

It’s not a practice you must read up on and tactically execute.

The instructions are within you.

I am hopeful this message will find you and invite you to go deeper.

With you.

For you.

Invite it into your life as a practice, and you will see that the seeds you sow will bloom and blossom into an ever-growing garden.

Namaste,
💜 Lavender

Hello, sweet friend! 👋 Yearning for connection and deeper meaning?
I'm Lavender, and I have a deep passion for unearthing the wisdom woven into life's tapestry. ✨ My own Life Journey, from navigating childhood complexities to a 20+ year corporate career with 55,000+ hours of interviewing (deeply studying humans), has honed my ability to discern human potential. Now, I share stories (past to present) that illuminate our paths, exploring resilience, transformation, purpose, and connecting with the magic within. Your deeper exploration begins here.✨

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My last Stories from My Own Life Journey post, if you’d like to wander through it:

From Fear to Faith: Unlocking Your Dreams by Embracing the Unknown

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💗✨ If the content here at Life Journey: empowered has resonated with you, if a story sparked a moment of self-discovery, or if the shared wisdom illuminated your path, I welcome your kind support. Creating this space is a heartfelt endeavor, fueled by a desire to connect and empower. Your contribution, be it the cost of a tea 🫖 or the joy of a new book 📖, directly nourishes this work and allows me to continue sharing these soulful explorations. 👇