Flow Not Force: A Gentle Code for Our Shared Substack Journey (+beyond!)💗✨

Releasing the pressure to perform and embracing the authentic rhythm of connection and creation

Hello, my sweet friend! 👋✨

Ever felt the gentle tug of expectation when it comes to online interactions?

Perhaps the subtle hum of "I should post now", "I must reply quickly", or “I have to read immediately as it JUST posted”? In a world that often measures success by speed and constant output, it’s easy to get swept into a current that feels more like a frantic race than a joyful journey.

This space, this beautiful Substack community we are co-creating, offers us a unique opportunity to redefine our engagement with each other. It's an invitation to release the chains of forced timelines and step into the boundless freedom of flow.

Here, we’re invited to walk a different path.

The Whispers of "You Should"
vs. The Embrace of "You Can"

The concept of "Flow Not Force" is more than just a reminder phrase; it's a foundational principle for how we interact, create, and connect here. It’s a soft PSA from my heart to yours, acknowledging a pressure many of us feel to constantly be "on" or immediately responsive.

I initially wrote about this when it CTM (my famous ‘Came to Me’ or ‘Cosmic Transmission Messages’) and was gently placed upon my heart. I shared it via Substack Notes:

Why "Flow Not Force" Matters:
The Transformative Power of this Gentle Code

This gentle approach is deeply rooted within my heart.

It’s what I have architected my Substack presence around, and it is carried through to even the depths of my personal life, including my email messages.

As I've learned on my own journey, especially since stepping away from a corporate world that often matricized and forced every interaction. True fulfillment comes not from achieving external goals, but from embracing the whole human experience: the messy, the beautiful, and everything in between.

There is no such thing as perfection, and there is no Flow if we Force. Life is about allowing what comes and navigating with it with grace and gentleness.

By Flowing, we open up our centers of the following:

• Authenticity: When we operate from a place of Flow, our true selves shine through. We share from a space of genuine inspiration, not obligation. This fosters deeper, more meaningful connections because it's real.

• Connection: True connection blossoms when there's space for vulnerability and genuine engagement. By releasing the pressure to react instantly, we allow for more thoughtful responses and a deeper sense of belonging within our community.

• Empowerment: This code is about personal empowerment – choosing how and when you engage, honoring your own rhythm, and prioritizing your inner wisdom over external demands. It's a testament to the belief that your best self, your true genius, emerges from a place of peace and alignment, not frantic effort.

This understanding is something I then carry into all my interactions, personal and professional. I invite you to join me…

In Practice: From My Heart to Yours

Text Messages

I find texts are when I “feel” this most from those I exchange messages with frequently (or even sporadically). There is an “unspoken” norm that someone must respond quickly, for fear that someone may think they are “ignoring” or “being rude”. As part of what I call a ‘presence practice’. I invite everyone I speak to to take their time. I often explicitly share that there is “no rush” and “no worries”; they can respond whenever is best for them! Because, as a sharer in their energy, I want to feel and experience the best of them! And oftentimes, that might not be the case at the moment I send a message (my message may arrive when they are in a state of stress or confusion). By allowing space for their response, they also have the opportunity to deeply connect with the conversation or request and share what is best for them in their reply.

Email Messages

From my personal email to my professional email, I add this little tagline to each of them. This was a practice I picked up years ago, after seeing the sheer stress on my corporate colleagues’ faces, or within their communications to me. “I’m so sorry I didn’t respond, I stressed about it all night…” or “It was so late I just was exhausted…”. I wanted to find a way to proactively relieve this pressure.

Over time, I have refined this statement. And even despite leaving the corporate world, I believe it remains critically important as a gentle reminder that we are human, not machines. I proactively add this to my email signature so that I stake the space up front; there is never an expectation. And if there is truly a rush or a time-sensitive need (which I’ll humbly admit there aren’t many that actually are!), then I’ll simply state or share what I need and why. I’ll also be reasonable with the timeframe in which I respond, allowing for a reasonable time for them to reply as well.

Feel free to adopt this (and make it your own)! It’s been a lovely conversation starter, and I’ve noticed people really open up and blossom when knowing they have the space just to be. I often receive the absolute best of their energies when I receive their replies as well!

🤍 As a gentle reminder: There’s no rush to respond. I trust in aligned timing and welcome your reply whenever it feels right for you — when your energy is clear, your heart is ready, or the moment simply calls.

Embracing “Flow Not Force”:
A Code for Substack Creators and Readers

For my fellow Creators here on Substack:

We often carry over habits from other platforms where metrics and immediacy dictate strategy. However, here on Substack, I believe our true metric is heartfelt resonance. When you create from a place of genuine overflow — when your insights have truly settled within you, or a story is ready to burst forth with its most potent wisdom — that is when your offering is most nourishing for all of us.

• It may mean dedicating time to deep research and reflection, allowing ideas to interweave naturally, and narrating when the inspiration truly strikes.

• It might mean batching your posts and scheduling them ahead, creating a beautiful routine that honors your energy, rather than reacting to an imagined demand for daily presence.

This all allows for authentic expression and sustained energy, rather than pushing yourself into a "not-Self" state driven by external pressures or fear of judgment. Your mental well-being, your health, and your Flow matter.

For all of us, as cherished Readers and Community Members:

Just as creators deserve the space to flow, so do readers (as we are beautifully all one and the same). There's no unspoken expectation here that you must read a letter (what I call a post) the moment it is published, or comment within a specific timeframe.

The beauty of Substack allows for a contemplative approach – you can collect letters that post across a couple of days or even beyond a week, then perhaps sit down with a cozy cup of tea and truly ingest the wisdom shared when it feels right for you.

This is about stepping out of the "speed" culture and into a sanctuary where content can be savored, pondered, and revisited, fostering deeper understanding and connection. Your enjoyment and connection with the content are empowered and have space and expansive moments to beautifully blossom and flower. This is when the content also means the most, and we retain it all the best, taking it with us on our life journeys.

Join Me in Standing for Space

I invite all of you, my dear friends, to stand with me in establishing this beautiful code of "Flow Not Force" within our grander Substack community, as well as our individual publication communities.

Life Journey: empowered makes it’s declaration here, in this very letter!
Humbly, this is why I refer to LJ:e as a sanctuary, because this is the space I intentionally, yet gently, cultivate here 🙏✨.

Let’s shift from "you should" to "you can" and "you may," exchanging external pressure for an internal invitation to simply be.

When someone's response isn't immediate, or a new post hasn't appeared on a "typical" schedule, let's remember that it only means they are honoring their flow, preparing to share their truest, most nourished self with us.

And for those who might feel emotions bubbling up, asking "why aren't they..." or "how come they haven't...", remember that such a question can possibly illuminate something deep within you, calling to be healed. Sending love and Light to us all as we navigate these internal landscapes.

Remember: It is always the ‘right’ moment.
By embracing this, we share more authenticity, connection, and love. And when the beautifully and energetically aligned best moment arrives, we ecstatically welcome your content and your energy! 😆✨

Please know that I hold that space for you in our every interaction.
Would you also hold that space for me?

💗 If this resonates with your heart, please feel free to share this post with your own communities. Let’s spread this ethos of space, gentleness, and authentic flow across Substack and beyond.

Namaste, my dear friends! 🪷🙏✨

💜 Lavender

Hello, sweet friend! 👋 Yearning for connection and deeper meaning?
I'm Lavender, and I have a deep passion for unearthing the wisdom woven into life's tapestry. ✨ My own Life Journey, from navigating childhood complexities to an over 20+ year corporate career with 55,000+ hours of interviewing (deeply studying humans), has honed my ability to discern human potential. Now, I share stories (past to present) that illuminate our paths, exploring resilience, transformation, purpose, and connecting with the magic within, and host my newest interview series — “The Wisdom Within” Show 🎙️✨! Your deeper exploration begins here.✨

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Learn more about “The Wisdom Within” Show 🎙️✨ here:

The Wisdom Within: Unearthing and Unveiling our Life Journeys 🎙️✨

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💗✨ If the content here at Life Journey: empowered has resonated with you, if a story sparked a moment of self-discovery, or if the shared wisdom illuminated your path, I welcome your kind support. Creating this space is a heartfelt endeavor, fueled by a desire to connect and empower. Your contribution, be it the cost of a tea 🫖 or the joy of a new book 📖, directly nourishes this work and allows me to continue sharing these soulful explorations. 👇