The Sacred Practice of Learning: One Additional Question ✨
How Curiosity Became My Compass, and a Lifetime of Interviewing Became My Map
This story doesn’t begin in a classroom.
It begins in the wild terrain of human interaction — across desks, on video calls, in hallway conversations, and over the quiet intake of breath before someone shares something they’re unsure will be understood.
Long before I ever saw it named, I was already living into the practice of lifelong learning.
It started slowly. Organically. I didn’t have a roadmap. But what I did have was a question.
And then another.
And then another after that.
That’s how I came to understand that learning — real learning — is not about hoarding knowledge. It’s about presence. Observation. Listening with the intention to understand, not to reply.
For over two decades, I served as a Corporate & Tech Recruiter, navigating the vast and intricate web of human potential. I sat across from more than 27,000 individuals, and partnered with over 5,000 hiring leaders and decision-makers. I invested over 55,000 hours in interview conversations alone — not to mention all the moments in between.
That’s five times the respected rate of mastery.
But I didn’t see it as mastery. I saw it as study.
Every interaction, every rejection, every offer — each became a “micro-experiment”. I didn’t just observe the outcome, I deeply studied the why. I sought to understand what connected, what repelled, what opened hearts, and what closed doors.
I studied how people presented themselves. I studied what made hiring leaders pause or lean in. I studied patterns — subtle and loud, predictable and surprising.
But more than anything, I studied people.
And then, a moment came where all of it clicked into place.
The Acid Test of an “Educated Person”
My husband introduced me to the Bob Proctor “You Were Born Rich” seminars, originally filmed in the 1980s.
If you'd like to explore them, here's the video playlist on YouTube and the Workbook from Proctor Gallagher Institute.
What I heard felt like someone describing a truth I’d known intuitively all along.
Bob shared a framework — one he had borrowed from Sidney Herbert Wood — that named something essential:
The three acid tests of an educated person:
"Can you entertain a new idea?"
"Can you entertain another person?"
"Can you entertain yourself?"
Bob expanded on this in his "You Were Born Rich" seminars (the video is on YouTube, starting at about the 9:30 timestamp).
Here's the excerpt:
"There is a concept there by Sydney Herbert Wood. And it's the test of an educated person.
I think many of us have had a false concept programmed into our mind with respect to education. I think we have been raised to believe that education is going to school for a certain number of years, and be able to correctly answer a series of questions.
But you know, many people will go to school all their life and be able to correctly answer the questions. But then when it comes to getting out into the Marketplace, and really making it happen, they just don't know how to compete. Many are withdrawn. They don't even feel comfortable meeting or greeting a stranger.
Well, Wood said the test of an educated person is: 'Can I entertain a new idea?'
Now, I think you know, and I know, that if we're going to improve, we have to have a very open mind.
I once heard that an open mind was being prepared to throw away some of our most cherished beliefs when a better idea comes along.
Now, you'll find that the vast majority of people seem to back into the future, dragging all of their old experience with them. When they're confronted with a new idea, they ask, 'Does it fit?'. If it doesn't, then they say it's wrong.
Now, what we want to do is ask ourself, 'Would this new idea improve the quality of my life, or would it get me going in the other direction? Can I entertain a new idea?'
…
Then, we see the second one, 'Can I entertain another person?'
Now, there's many people that would feel totally uncomfortable, walking up to a stranger and just saying, 'Hi, how are you today? Pleased to meet you, Jan.'
Now, you know some people (when it comes to meeting a person), their head is down, their hand is wet, they're shaking inside, their heart is pounding, and they only do it because they really have to. They would just as soon pull away from the new person. Now that individual has not learned very much, if anything, about themselves. Because we should feel totally comfortable meeting anyone, anywhere, at any time.
And then he asks, 'Can I entertain myself?' Well you know, many people are not able to entertain themselves. I spent half my life not being able to entertain myself! I always had to be around someone else, it was always, 'Come on! Let's have a party!' I absolutely hated being alone. And that was because I really didn't like myself.
Now I have found, through studying the ideas that we're going to cover here over the next couple of days, we can develop into very interesting and reasoning companions.
Most of the time that we live, we do spend with ourselves.
And you're going to find that some of the very best conversations you ever have are going to be with yourself. I get so excited about some of mine, I talk right out loud! I draw, you know, a strange look from people from time to time, but you get such great ideas going in your mind that you just can't help it!"
What a curious concept.
Not only the way I had come to live, but the way I desired to continue showing up in the world.
It All Starts with a Question
These questions live at the core of how I lead — both here at Life Journey: empowered, and over at my other brand, Career Clarity.
Because I believe deeply in sacred, intentional study. I believe in creating spaces where perspectives are not only allowed, but are welcomed. And I believe in asking the kind of questions that open a door — not just to someone else, but to yourself.
At Career Clarity, I host a community, supporting people across every stage of the professional journey — from job seekers and hiring leaders to career pivoters and recruiters. Every week, we gather. Every day, we explore.
Every question becomes a breadcrumb leading someone back to themselves.
In fact, Career Clarity was built on that very principle: it all starts with a question.
This blend of inquiry, observation, and lived experience has become my most treasured compass.
I remember countless interviews where a hiring leader dismissed a candidate over a single answer. This is where my coaching of Hiring Leaders around their biases originated.
Hiring Leaders would often ask a Candidate how they would approach or solve a problem at their previous employer. Let's say a Candidate described an approach of (X) that differed from the Hiring Leader's preferred approach of (Y).
The real challenge wasn't the differing approaches, but the Hiring Leader's failure to ask *one* simple follow-up question.
I’d gently guide them to ask the Candidate, additionally — “If you had full freedom at your last company, would you have the same approach, or would you leverage a different one?” — everything opened.
In most cases, the Candidate would have made the same approach the Hiring Leader wanted (the approach of (Y)) but they were simply constrained by a former boss, a company policy, or circumstances outside their control into the approach of (X).
That single question revealed alignment that would have been lost without it.
The Power of One Additional Question
Without this one simple question, Hiring Managers were often one answer away from finding their ideal candidate. But their own biases and closed minds prevented that connection.
This highlights a powerful truth:
How many times have we been *one* question away from connecting with someone?
*One* moment of presence away from truly seeing them?
*One* breath of curiosity away from forming a connection?
It could have slipped right through our fingers.
What I’ve come to believe is this:
Being willing to ask that one extra question might be the thing that changes everything. It’s how we learn. It’s how we listen. It’s how we love.
And it’s why I hold learning — not as a task or a title — but as a sacred practice.
Bob Proctor so profusely preached, he understood others better because he first studied himself.
This stopped me in my tracks.
From this, I made a full-circle connection:
Now, on top of it all, by asking one additional question, we could more deeply understand ourselves. Because when we create space for someone else’s perspective, we simultaneously make space for our own evolution.
The Power of Possibilities
This is not about being endlessly open or boundary-less. It’s about being intentional and exploring perspectives with discernment.
It’s also about allowing the contours of life to be less rigid and more alive.
When we truly consider all possibilities, one of two beautiful things happens:
We learn something new, expanding our understanding and potentially inviting us to add to or to release existing beliefs.
Or, we reaffirm and recommit to our existing beliefs, with a deeper sense of clarity and conviction.
That’s it.
No “war.” No “right and wrong.” No blame, gatekeeping, or exclusion.
When we allow space for others, we’re equally allowing it for ourselves.
So it becomes simply contemplation, selection, and allowing space for diverse perspectives. The sacred unfolding of remembrance.
Because at the end of the day, the greatest learning is not about what we acquire.
It’s about what we explore to remember.✨
Namaste,
💜 Lavender
Hello, sweet friend! 👋 Yearning for connection and deeper meaning?
I'm Lavender, and I have a deep passion for unearthing the wisdom woven into life's tapestry. ✨ My own Life Journey, from navigating childhood complexities to a 20+ year corporate career with 55,000+ hours of interviewing (deeply studying humans), has honed my ability to discern human potential. Now, I share stories (past to present) that illuminate our paths, exploring resilience, transformation, purpose, and connecting with the magic within. Your deeper exploration begins here.✨
My last Stories from My Own Life Journey post, if you’d like to wander through it:
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