A Glimpse Inside: The Inner Interview Book

My Upcoming Book to help you Unveil Your Authentic Self, One Question at a Time

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Have you ever wondered what's truly driving your choices?

Many of us live on autopilot, unaware of the deeper motivations shaping our lives.

Some of us may never dare to look beyond the surface, genuinely afraid of what we may find.

But imagine unlocking the door to your authentic self simply by asking the right questions.

What if the answers you seek aren't “out there” but instead lie deep within? What if you already possess the wisdom to transform your life?

Hello sweet friends!

Today, I'm sharing a piece of my heart with you—an excerpt from the introduction of my upcoming book, The Inner Interview: Unveiling Your Authentic Self.

The words you're about to read (literally) poured out of me, a culmination of my experiences and insights. It's a story of discovery, of learning to see beyond the surface, and of understanding the profound impact of connecting with our authentic selves.

Are you ready to take a ‘peek’? 👀

Let’s dive into the introduction…The Genesis of This Guide!

EXCERPT: The Genesis of This Guide

As those who follow my Career Clarity Substack know, I spent over 20 years in Corporate & Tech Talent Acquisition. I held various roles, including Recruiter, Executive Recruiter, Talent Sourcer, and Leader, with a few stints in Executive-Level positions within Talent Acquisition and Human Resources. Throughout my career, I have worked with professionals worldwide.

Over those years, I dedicated more than 55,000+ hours to interviewing over 27,000+ people. I also collaborated with over 5,000 Hiring Leaders and Hiring Team Members.

In the latter nine years, I began to notice a pattern, a "secret" of sorts. Stakeholders consistently gave me incredible feedback. Hiring Managers asked how I consistently identified and attracted exceptionally qualified and aligned talent. They were amazed at my ability to swiftly source talent—finding the perfect fit rather than waiting for applications. Executive Teams believed I could find the elusive "purple squirrel unicorn" while delivering an outstanding Candidate Experience.

I humbly acknowledge that my success stemmed from deeply caring about the people involved and striving for positive outcomes for everyone, not just the Hiring Manager or the Candidate.

But to be honest, I didn't fully understand it at first. Although I recognized I was doing something different. I was investing more time and energy, and I was seeing powerful, positive outcomes.

This became clearer as I compared notes with colleagues. When I asked about their results, the response was often a quick "no."

Being naturally curious, I began to inquire more deeply. What were they asking? What were they missing? What criteria were they using, and how were they gathering that information?

Suddenly, new possibilities opened up. I was placing people into roles that benefited everyone involved. Hiring Leaders and Managers were thrilled. I could successfully fill any role, from entry-level all the way up to Executive Search positions.

Through deeper contemplation, I realized something profound.

I wasn't matching Candidates to Hiring Managers solely based on resumes. It wasn't just about hard skills versus soft skills, the prestige of past employers, or flexibility on compensation or on-site requirements.

It was much deeper.

I knew I was approaching things differently when I then asked colleagues how they assessed someone’s motivations.

"You mean, why are they job searching?"

"No, deeper than that. As in, what are the facets of them you are assessing or aligning with the Hiring Manager?""

"You mean, how fast they'll move from their current company (and how fast the Hiring Manager needs them)?"

"Not quite. More into what intrinsically motivates them. What deeper desire are they fulfilling by taking this job?"

The typical responses were:

1. "I don't have time for that!"

2. "That's not my job; I just fill positions."

This sparked further questions within me. Why, then, was I investing the time to understand the deeper "whys"?

Because I couldn’t reconcile connecting people without considering the betterment of everyone involved—individually, collectively, and within the broader organization.

After identifying this "secret" of deeper alignment, I began experimenting. I consider my career in Talent Acquisition a series of experiments, which is why I believe I offer genuine wisdom, not just “experience”.

I relentlessly tested different questions with Candidates and Hiring Managers. I ran countless scenarios based on my learnings. I then made educated guesses about potential matches, would see it through to the results, and then go back over it again to further refine my process for next time.

This led to the ability to almost forecast outcomes. For example, if a Hiring Manager lacked confidence, they’d often choose a “safe” candidate, regardless of cultural alignment.

NOTE: I choose not to use the word “fit” as it implies there is an expected box we must “fit” into, cutting ourselves down. Instead, I prefer to focus on Candidate’s being “magnetically attracted and aligned,” which further adds to the diversity of the existing culture.

I also became adept at identifying insecurities. For example, a Hiring Manager with a fragile ego would avoid strong candidates for fear of being "found out."

Recruiting is deeply about navigating egos and achieving harmony and balance. Through experimentation, I learned this well.

Essentially, I learned to see people deeply. I understood their drives, fears, and hopes. I identified their desires and concerns. And this applied to everyone involved at every level: Candidates, Hiring Managers, and decision-makers.

I learned that matching people on these deeper levels and communicating those connected insights led to successful placements.

The magic is on a deeper level.

I validated my learnings through follow-up: with Candidates on their first day and after a few months, with Hiring Managers to confirm their initial impressions, and with other stakeholders.

Through these conversations, I realized I was seeking the "real" person. Navigating my own biases (as we all should be doing continuously) further reinforced this. I could now identify when beliefs were imposed by past employers. This misalignment is often one of the core frustrations for Candidates, leading them to seek relief elsewhere (aka, get a new job).

Believe it or not, in interviews, we all can naturally sense these disconnects. We may not be able to put our finger on precisely what it is, but this is what many describe as a “red flag”. Something was felt or came up to the surface that was a ‘cause for pause’. In these cases, Candidates would exude some level of desperation (fleeing to a new job), and some Hiring Managers would ignore the ’red flags’ out of their own desperation, sometimes due to ego, sometimes indifference, or sometimes due to their own hiring or performance stresses.

I saw first-hand that when this pain wasn’t worked through individually by either party before they both signed on the offer dotted line, the pain would resurface after their "honeymoon phase." And the pain was then often worse.

These all depict the incredible layers of my learnings, which are (almost) endless when we simply dive just a little bit deeper.

The incredible part? All of these layers of learning are now what I present to you on the following pages.

What is The Inner Interview book? It's a collection of questions, insights, and reflections designed to help you embark on your own journey of self-discovery.

This journey of discovery, of understanding the deeper 'whys' of p” led me to and sparked the creation of this guide.

I truly believe each of us carries a story, a truth waiting to be unveiled. And through The Inner Interview book, I want to give you the tools and the gentle nudge to illuminate your own path toward your truth.

The truth is that we all need a little help navigating the journey of self-discovery! What lies ahead, yet to be revealed, is about building our toolboxes, those go-to resources for introspection, for finding that authentic spark within. Honestly, it's connection—with ourselves and others—that really kicks off the most beautiful dance of transformation.

Thinking back, I'd always put myself in the shoes of the folks I was interviewing. I'd ask a question, and then I'd be like, 'Okay, how would I answer that?' It was like my own little 'inner interview' experiment, and it's what really lit up my own path to my own self-love. It's a journey I'm still on, and I'm so excited to share what I've learned with you.

How ‘The Inner Interview’ Book Came About

This book wasn't planned; I believe it was truly a calling.

To understand its genesis, I look to my Human Design bodygraph. Over the past eight months, I've realized how beautifully it illuminates the mileposts of my journey, and I'd love to share that with you.

Three energetic placements in my bodygraph—Gate 5, Gate 60, and Gate 24—have significantly shaped my life and this book.

Gate 5 brings the gift of patience, persistence, and observation. Reflecting on my career, I see how these qualities helped me understand the deeper motivations of the 27,000+ people I interviewed. It also brought the gift of waiting. Through patiently compartmentalizing each and every interaction, allowing my patience to be flexed and oftentimes stretched, I continued to gather insights. By further embracing this, I felt the rhythms of each search and knew when to reveal or share information. Then, stepping back to unpack each compartment and seeing the larger picture better revealed incredible insights.

Gate 60 brings the gift of finding growth within challenges—and each search was indeed a challenge! Navigating opinions, needs, and misaligned expectations required deep inquiry. This gate also allows one to accept limitations as opportunities. When a Hiring Manager's 'spec sheet' was unrealistic (which was often), I used it to educate them on what was indeed possible, often opening their eyes to other criteria they hadn’t even considered. 

These two Gates became my “superpowers” only as I learned to embrace them. By allowing the natural flow of each search, I embodied their gifts. Though understanding these gates earlier would have been beneficial, the organic unfolding of my journey became breathtaking. I was stepping into my natural power.

After years of delving into others' motivations, I realized I needed to share the questions that led me to these discoveries. Each chapter is a piece of my journey, a reflection of the power of self-inquiry.

This process required deep care, attention, and curiosity. I emerged with refined skills and the carefully crafted questions that fill this book. These questions have been revisited and refined, search after search, thanks to my Gate 24 energy, which gifts rationalization and profound realization through repeated engagement (aka returning to something over and over again until it's smooth and refined).

Understanding our true selves is powerful. This book offers you those refined inquiries.

I recently shared my career mantra, “Seek to understand before being understood,” in the comments of an article by Melissa at

Your Attention, Please

. This principle powered my career and personal transformation and was my underlying motivation through each and every one of the thousands of micro-experiments I ran:

These questions comprise this beautiful book. If we were at a coffee shop together, I would ask you the same questions to understand you better.

And shameless plug for if you haven’t explored your own bodygraph, there’s no better time than now to do so. Who knows, you may uncover some beautiful things about your energy journey, too!

Allow This to be a Gentle Invitation to Join Me!

Are you ready to embark on your own inner interview?

Share in the comments below:

• ❓What aspect of yourself you're most curious to explore?

• ❓From what I’ve shared, what has caused your own reflection or moment of pause?

• ❓What excites you most about The Inner Interview book?

Be sure you’re subscribed to receive the latest updates on when The Inner Interview book is released!

I cannot wait to begin this journey together 🙏✨

💜 Lavender

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Hello, sweet friend! 👋 Yearning for connection and deeper meaning?
I'm Lavender, and I have a deep passion for unearthing the wisdom woven into life's tapestry. ✨ My own Life Journey, from navigating childhood complexities to a 20+ year corporate career with 55,000+ hours of interviewing (deeply studying humans), has honed my ability to discern human potential. Now, I share stories (past to present) that illuminate our paths, exploring resilience, transformation, purpose, and connecting with the magic within. Your deeper exploration begins here.✨