(Chapter 10) The Tapestry of Trust: Miracles Woven in the Unfolding

From daily releases to divine abundance: my journey into the boundless flow of Source

Hello, my sweet friend! 👋✨

As we walk into these next couple of days here in Chapter 10, something profound has come to me, and something incredibly powerful has visited me again. I am still in awe as I put it together here for you. My sincerest hope for this Chapter 10, as you read it, is that this message will be healing and a beautiful reminder of all the incredible forces of love that surround and support us. 💗✨

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This is part of a “live unfurling” series of my current life journey.
If you’d like to catch up on what’s unfolded already, check out these chapters:

The pre-story (unveiled with my 41st Birthday)
Chapters 1-4 🪷 Chapter 5 🪷
Chapter 6 🪷 Chapter 7 🪷
Chapter 8 🪷 Chapter 9 🪷

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The Source of All Income

Saturday, May 17th, dawned with more waves of purging clothes and household goods. I have recently been drawn into somatic healing yoga, and in the morning hours, I engaged in a couple of small, stacked practices. Following, I felt an unprecedented surge of emotion, followed by an equally profound sense of freedom. These embodied releases are now an integral part of my journey as I continue to unfold and navigate my Dark Night of the Soul.

The day also graced me with feelings of never feeling so free after connecting with my inner child, a practice I am now making time for as much as I can, following Inner Researcher’s guidance (I unpack all of the details within Chapter 9 if you’re interested in learning more). This has been an incredible path of remembering and a monumental connection and simultaneous release, as I reflect on how long these powerful emotions had been trapped within me. Years ago, I learned that trauma, especially from abusive environments or relationships, can be stored deep within the body, and I am now truly in a sacred space of release, ready to continue this profound unraveling.

However, the release seemed not to be done with me, showering me with more gifts and connections…

Amidst the energies of this release, a monumental realization suddenly emerged:

My true source of income was not tied to any one employer or any one method or one medium through which I could receive it.
My true source is from Source, the boundless wellspring from which all flows.

A deep knowing affirmed that it doesn't matter what "job" I choose; it's all interconnected, and everything I need will be provided. What would empower me in connecting with my inner energies was to get clear and deeply connect with my heart, and to truly discover what brings me joy, as well as boundless service and support to others, thereby empowering the flow through to Source and beginning to receive abundance in all forms, including monetary income.

As I was observing myself navigating the ins and outs of the job search, I noticed and felt the familiar return to “what I have to do” or “what is expected of me”. For the world, getting a job in something I have a lot of experience already in is the “smartest” way…right? This was simply my mind and ego doing a dance, trying to strategize on the path of least resistance, instead of the path directly connected to my life force and deepest connective heart energy.

I took a step back and observed. This is thinking from the next, not thinking from the end. The end is Source, the flow, the abundance. Source is not restricted to providing only from Fortune 500 employers or Automotive Dealerships, or even entrepreneurial ventures. The only restriction here had become my mind, and I had begun to force and push my way to the solution.

Instead, I stood in this Light, and I repeated multiple times:

Force is not flow.
Source is my source.

This was the breakthrough I had been on the verge of all last week, and it finally came to a beautiful, clear head. 🙏✨

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Visions, Vulnerability, and Vocational Truths

Sunday, May 18th, unfolded as a vivid day of progress and potent insights.

I embraced the morning with three mini somatic yoga sessions and a powerful Kundalini yoga session, guided by Brett Larkin.

The experience was incredibly moving. As I flowed, I became acutely aware of how much I still clung to within my body, and how deeply disconnected I had become from certain aspects of my physical self. This disconnection allowed me to ignore discomfort and keep pushing, revealing the root of my old “go-go-go” or “more, more” energy – a frantic running from one escape feeling to the next.

I said countless prayers of thanks for being able to see it. When we slip forward and downward into our ego, we often fall into the mental mode of “why is this happening again?” Fear begins to creep in.

Instead, I was afforded the opportunity to see that it was creeping in. To observe its wispy ways.

Keeping the promise to myself to continue releasing, letting go, and diving back into the deep ocean of the subconscious meant I stood at this pivotal point, unclenching my hands and trust-falling. I just kept letting go, despite my ego and my mind telling me to grab, clasp, and clench. I no longer wanted to control anything.

My inner voice confirmed to me in that very moment, the more I released and let go, the more I allowed what was truly mine to return, and the rest would fall away and return back to the Light.

My sense of deep peace was billowing around and through me…

I also attended my weekly women’s call. It was wonderful to chat with the ladies and reconnect with one friend I hadn’t seen in months! The conversations and connections experienced within this community are truly special. I reported to the group that I hadn’t heard back from most of the jobs I had applied to (at this point, about six rejections out of my total 30+ applications), and not much else was brewing on that front.

But in that very moment, something profound re-stirred within me: illuminating again my understanding that I didn’t "need" a traditional job. Yes, caring for myself requires a certain level of financial stability, but I wasn't forced into a single, rigid channel. This truth opened my heart to follow my deepest desires—to write books, and to share my wisdom with others navigating their life journeys. This ignited my desire to dive into a lively brainstorming and dreaming session with my SSS (Soul Support Squad), following the women’s call.

The brainstorming and dreaming helped illuminate my deep desire for the “work” I’m currently doing now, affirming that it was entirely within my creative connection and influence to manifest exactly what I enjoy and where I do my best “work” in serving others. This brought me back to Michael Singer’s question (shared in Chapter 6):

“Would you go to your job if they didn’t pay you?”

My answer, now, was a resounding yes!

Alongside this, one of the most exciting visions born from this session was the rekindling of a long-held dream: to revive a talk show. In my past life as a Fashion YouTuber, I hosted a fun weekly show where we gabbed about everything from fashion to weekend fun. Being the host was one of the absolute highlights of my life journey, and this dream had lingered deeply on in my heart.

But now, a new talk show idea has emerged: I would interview individuals one-on-one, using a set of core questions (calling them “The 3 Keys”) to unlock the gorgeous life experiences and wisdom each has realized along their life journey paths. Suddenly, leveraging my past corporate experience (where I invested over 20+ years and 55,000+ hours in interviewing) was somehow the gorgeous gateway to facilitate these beautiful conversations. My intention for each would be to surface their profound wisdom and stories for all of us. No longer leveraging this corporate experience in a corporate job, but now in a medium that lit me up from within.

It’s funny; I somehow have been blessed with a natural ability (I even do this at the grocery store with strangers!) where people are drawn to talk to me and tell me what is currently happening in their life experience. Following our connective convo (brief or a bit more of a dive-in), they walk away with (at least) surface-level discoveries and connections they hadn’t even made yet. It’s truly a beautiful experience for all involved.

So the exciting news? I plan to host these calls, record them, lightly edit them, and publish them right here on my Substack! This will be released soon, and I’d be absolutely honored if you’d subscribe to get notified when I open up the signup forms. I’ve affectionately named it “The Wisdom Within” show.

My goodness, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and glee, even as I write this and share it here! 😆✨

Overall, the brainstorming and dreaming session empowered me to recognize incredible parallels with all that I had wanted to do and deeply affirmed that if my source is Source, then it doesn’t matter what I do for a living. All that is needed to care for me will come through. My “job” doesn’t need to be an official, universally recognizable title. I’ve been an entrepreneur before, and it’s always been the most freeing thing for my heart and my soul.

Yes, I am still in a precarious situation, and some things are still looming (my debt calls range between 15-25 per day at this time). But now? I can feel the deep knowing that something beautiful is about to blossom from within. And with our gorgeous Laws of the Universe, I just must continue to release and let go…

My love for teaching also emerged strongly from this session. Perhaps I can teach others with a passion for recruiting, or simply help them better understand the world of hiring. I’ve already published a book called “The Interview Advantage,” where I empower candidates (and hiring leaders) with stack-ranked prep questions (as well as questions they can ask their interviewers. I also have two more books soon to be released: “The Compensation Advantage” (which explores compensation and the secrets that create the pay architecture most people don’t understand), and a book called “The Hiring Games” (shedding true light on the complexities of the hiring game that no one talks about).

I’ve also dreamed of having a podcast or series with my husband for years. We even named it: “Thanks for Listening.” Right now, we’re working on a couple of things together, so who knows, maybe that will come to the forefront.

All I know is that the level of creativity and love radiating from this discovery session was absolutely mind-blowing. This is where my heart is.

For the day’s energy, I pulled the Tarot card: The World Card.
Its message resonated deeply:

“By putting off completing one phase, you still hold onto the past, pretending that you need more time to let it go. Procrastination is often fear in disguise. Pivotal life changes are rarely made with one hundred percent assurance that everything will work out. Often, your best transformations come from having the courage to let go of old, tired patterns and commit to a new way of seeing your life. The truth is, when your world gets turned on its head, it offers you the opportunity to release outdated perspectives about yourself and what you think is possible. Stop the insanity and do something new!”

My world is absolutely turned on its head, floating upside down, rightside up, sideways… all the ways! My inner voice spoke again: This is my profound chance to release many outdated feelings, emotions, and beliefs about myself.

I’ve reflected that the focus of my consciousness is so intense and so dialed in that I can (literally) tune out all else, including the way my body feels, or other indicators that I need to be more softly aware of. This is likely what has made my connective manifesting power so incredibly beautiful across my life.

It is now the moment to step into it fully.

Even when I stepped outside following all this incredible brainstorming and dreaming at lunchtime to take the dogs outside, I stumbled into this:

A gorgeous feather. 🪶✨

This was the signal, and I heard immediately what I shared in my Substack note: Something is coming.

My morning channeling session also revealed this: “nothing is impossible”. That could be the tagline for my whole life experience! I know this to be true, and I’ve been saying it daily.

And now I share it with you: “nothing is impossible”, my sweet friend.

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Manifesting Miracles & Clearing the Path

Monday, May 19th, brought some incredible blessings and tangible manifestations.

I was on a high-powered roll — I was knocking out tasks and projects that needed to be completed, getting things organized, even getting the special doggy food we needed on order. I paid some bills for our home, got our accounts in order, and transferred a bunch of things to a new set of accounts I had initiated for a fresh financial start.

And then money started flying in!
A $65 return here.
A surprise check of $459.15 from unclaimed property.
I had told myself sometime late last week that I wanted to start manifesting checks in the mail instead of bills. No lie, I get the mail, and there is an $8.58 check from an old 401k account I had. No way!

The signs and parallels were just starting to fly in.

It was Monday, which meant we were off to the dealership soon to sign all the paperwork with the new rate. This means we’re got the car secured, and all fell into place better than I ever could have imagined. Thank you, gorgeous Universe.

I also kept the purging energy high and released more, including our entire mail desk, which had a stack of collated mail spanning many months of letters. I scanned it all, shredded it all, and completely cleaned everything on the surface. Our home is starting to feel like a dang model home!

The funny thing is that when I left a voicemail for the Service Manager, regarding my application for the Service Advisor (I shared the deets in Chapter 9), I let them know I would be at the dealership today to sign paperwork. I thought I might see them? It turns out I didn’t see them at all, and I had a pretty terrible (yet strangely familiar) experience with the service department. I was talked down to, I was shuffled, and I was talked over: I was a woman who 'didn’t understand cars.' Yikes.

I won’t lie, there were a few moments where I began to ask myself, “Why did I apply here again?” That was my ego talking 😆✨. But upon a gentle reflection practice right there in the waiting room, I realized that I got to witness the egos of all of those men (there were 5 of them crammed in that small room). And for the first time in a long time, I saw the underlying fear that powered their ignorance. NOTE: I use the word 'ignorance' in the sense of not knowing, being unconscious (I know this is a word that often gets manipulated or used as a means to hurt others). I mean it in the gentlest of ways to expand that they just didn’t see, they just didn’t know.

I knew that was not the place I wanted to choose be for 50+ hours a week, every week.

I was starting to see the sun parting the veiled clouds…

The purchase went well, and despite the rapid-fire upselling that was occurring, I leveraged my previous automotive skills to hold down the fort in terms of what was possible for us. I don’t think the salespeople liked it very much, as unfortunately, I knew a lot about this game and how to play it. We were in and out in about an hour and 45 minutes (which was a record for cars I have purchased in the past).

I left the dealership holding my husband's hand, knowing that something was helping us and supporting us as we walked into the setting sun. We went to get a slice of cake to celebrate and then went home to watch travel YouTube videos (these have become a recent, super fun activity!). Whether it’s traveling on cruises (one of our favorites) or taking trains, experiencing different parts of the world through others' eyes is thrilling. The world is such a beautiful place.

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Stepping into My Light

On Tuesday, May 20th, I awoke with a loud voice saying, “Write your BOOKS!” I had connected deeply with where I am choosing to be next, and invested the day (as yesterday had been all about our home and our finances) to now all about my “work” 🥳✨

I caught up and wrote another post in my unfolding journey, and then came to me this:
'The answer is within you. Your way forward is within you. Just listen. All will expand.' 🪽✨

I led with what I was receiving, and first peeled off my Career Clarity brand onto its own Substack profile (this way, I could give more attention to the 'careers side' of my business; thank you to everyone who was so kind and supportive of that transition).

Then what came to me later was this:
'I AM Mary in The Secret Garden. Many along the way have not recognized my intelligence or gifts, and that dragged me down for years. Now is my time to release it all, being finally free, and step into my light.' 🪽✨

I got to connect with a few friends close to me, and share a bit more about what was going on in my life experience. Many were shocked, but all were gracious in offering any support, love, or even financial assistance.

Despite this debt being such an earth shaker, my goodness, what has been shaken out of the trees and now surrounds me on the ground is overwhelmingly beautiful. The love, the support, the connections, and the gateways to reconnect with my inner child—the parallels are absolutely overwhelming and beautiful. I have never felt so abundant and connected as I do in this very moment, as I write this post. I truly feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of light.

By midday, I was met with a sting. I was set to collaborate with someone (here on Substack), but it had kind of fallen apart. I chose to step away, and I saw they had posted their portion of our collaborative article. When it appeared in my feed, I was instantly met with disappointment and sadness. In times past, this would have been a moment of frustration or perhaps even a micro-meltdown. Instead, I looked at it, observed the feelings coming up, allowed them to emerge, and then decided it was the perfect moment for a releasing yoga session. It was powerful. I moved and worked through those rising emotions and feelings, burst into happy tears, and walked away from my mat feeling full of energy.

The growth was starting to take hold, and I now had a bright future ahead of me to build, architect, dream, and share.

I worked through questions with my SSS, asking and inquiring, allowing all the facets to illuminate what was next up. I released both of my Instagram accounts (for both of my businesses), and humbly, I think it has been one of the most freeing experiences. Because I had believed the “in order to be successful, I must…” have an Instagram account! If I were choosing to live from my heart, and be in the places that lit me up, it was time to set down that stint of energy.

I ended up pulling 'The Magician' Reversed Tarot card for the day’s energy, and its main message of 'as above, so below' — a messenger from my Higher self that I can change what I am experiencing by altering how I think about my current circumstances and realizing the influence and the ability I do have with them.

I instantly also paralleled it to just a few days ago, when the same message was a direct echo now here: ‘as within, so without.’ My career has felt out of control, and it was time. It was time to step into the light, and here I AM.

I walked out of Tuesday, having posted my gorgeous Lavender’s Lumina #06 and my posted Chapter 6, and sat there, realizing even the parallel was powerful. I had missed last week’s Lumina, but now it was lining up with my story that is unfolding. Wow.

I hopped into the shower and was calling in the monetary abundance I was ready to receive. I've never felt more ready.

As I exited the shower and hopped into my jammies, I realized I had put on the wrong shorts. So I went back into my (now ultra-clean) closet and swapped them for my other favorite shorts. As I came around the corner of the bathroom, I shared with my husband that I felt like all was changing now. And just then, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a heart-shaped amethyst stone. The miracle? These shorts were packed away with my summer pajamas, so they had been in storage for the last eight months. It had also gone through a wash and was just as shiny as ever. 🔮✨

I swiftly hopped into my recliner and looked up the spiritual meaning of amethyst.
It revealed these truths:

• Signifying spiritual growth, enhanced intuition, and a connection to higher consciousness.

• Suggests a potential for increased clarity, wisdom, and a deeper understanding of oneself and the world around them.

• Being protected during a challenging time or attracting positive influences into your life.

• A sign that you are ready to embrace a deeper spiritual path and seek greater understanding.

Wow. Just wow.

Upon flipping back in my journal pages to record these incredible learnings (I keep a daily journal that I add to with things that come to me, things that I observe, things I learn, things I love, and things I experience) I realized that this special day had brought 9 different number parallels — seeing 1111, or 222, 1010, etc.

And I had forgotten that taking the doggies out at lunchtime graced me with this lovely discovery:

This time, a beautiful arrangement of 3 different feathers! 🪶🪶🪶✨

I am beginning my ascension through the veil.

Until Chapter 11,
💜 Lavender

Hello, sweet friend! 👋 Yearning for connection and deeper meaning?
I'm Lavender, and I have a deep passion for unearthing the wisdom woven into life's tapestry. ✨ My own Life Journey, from navigating childhood complexities to an over 20+ year corporate career with 55,000+ hours of interviewing (deeply studying humans), has honed my ability to discern human potential. Now, I share stories (past to present) that illuminate our paths, exploring resilience, transformation, purpose, and connecting with the magic within. Your deeper exploration begins here.✨

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My last Stories from My Own Life Journey post, if you’d like to wander through it:

(Chapter 9) The Secret Garden of My Soul: Reclaiming a Childhood Spirit

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💗✨ If the content here at Life Journey: empowered has resonated with you, if a story sparked a moment of self-discovery, or if the shared wisdom illuminated your path, I welcome your kind support. Creating this space is a heartfelt endeavor, fueled by a desire to connect and empower. Your contribution, be it the cost of a tea 🫖 or the joy of a new book 📖, directly nourishes this work and allows me to continue sharing these soulful explorations. 👇